Time constraints can often lead to stress. If you are currently feeling overwhelmed, here are some tips to accomplish what needs to be done:
• Develop a schedule. Plan how much time you are going to dedicate to a project each day.
• Have realistic goals. Approach your tasks systematically.
• Be in an environment that allows you to function at your best.
• Ask for help if you are overwhelmed.
• Establish priorities.
• Take a break when you need one.
Time Wasting
There are a number of negative behaviors you may engage in that produce stress including:
• Time juggling: This is when you take on too much at once and are unable to complete everything you have to do.
• Workaholism: If you spend hours working you often ignore time-saving techniques and end up being counterproductive.
• Perfectionism: Perfectionists want everything to be perfect and will spend hours polishing something. This often takes away from your sense of accomplishment since you never think anything is good enough.
• Procrastination: By consistently putting off your work, you leave it all to the last minute. This often means a poor end result and an increase in stress.
• Yesism: This is the inability to say no. Like time jugglers, you often overbook yourself but it is in fear of disappointing others.
If you want to know the warning signs when visiting elderly relatives and your need to know if they have problems financially, here are 10 things to look for during your next visit home.
The top things to look for in tough economic times and if it is impacting your aging senior. Here are the warning signs when visiting elderly loved ones:
Is your senior’s home too warm in the summer and too cold in the winter?
Is the lawn not getting mowed nor is the sidewalk getting cleaned in inclement weather?
Is your loved one complaining about not being able to afford medications?
Are home repairs not getting made?
Is there a shortage of food in the house?
Is your senior skipping doctor’s appointments?
Is your older adult staying home more and becoming isolated?
Is your senior cutting out entertainment?
Does your loved one eat out less?
Did your senior cancel a vacation?
Contact your local Area Agency on Aging, if you’re an older adult experiencing difficulties because of the economy.
What warning signs do you look for when visiting an aging relative? You may look for warning signs other than financial or signs that show economic concern. For example, what signs do you look for that may signal your aging loved one is not taking medications properly? What about sleep deprivation.. what do you look for?
As a family member of an elderly loved one, it’s better to put practices in place that help your family get ahead of the aging curve with advance planning. Take the first step in planning that allows your aging relative and elderly loved one have a better experience living out their lives. If they are involved in choosing how they want to be cared for, it will give them the feeling that they are in control. As people age, many will need the help of another because of an illness. As we age, it gives us peace knowing we can choose how we want to be cared for.
When the family visit aging relatives, this makes for the perfect time to make sure elderly family members are safe at home. There are many things to look for without coming right out and asking questions that may be embarrassing. Here are six things that should be noted while visiting and making sure an elderly loved one is safe. Any changes should be noted and if necessary, action should be taken as soon as possible.
1. If the elderly family member is still driving, assess their skills. Even though they have been driving for many years, it may no longer be safe for them to do so. Ask if they have had any tickets or small accidents in the recent past. Look for dents on the car. If there is concern about their driving safety, schedule a driving test with the DMV.
2. Make sure the senior is getting the proper nutrition. Check the cabinets and refrigerator to make sure they have food to make a meal with and not just a snack. If the senior cannot prepare their own meals any longer, arrange something with Meals on Wheels to help.
3. Check on finances. See if there are unpaid bills lying around. Many seniors become forgetful and will neglect to pay bills on time.
4. Watch for any balance problems. When seniors have issues with their balance, they will begin to experience many falls. Watch how they walk
and go up and down stairs. Older family members may benefit from a medical alert bracelet.
5. While talking to the senior, make note of any changes in their memory. Try to talk about recent events to see what they recall. Also check to make sure they are not forgetting to take their medications.
6. Some seniors will experience loneliness and depression. This can be noticed by changes in behavior. Often, when a senior is depressed, their hygiene will begin to suffer. Check to see that their clothes are clean and they are caring for their personal hygiene.
Carebuzz is happy to announce our April winner of the Caregiver contest! We invite our readers to celebrate our very first caregiver of the month by reading Ava’s story!
Her name is Ava, a single mother of a teen daughter, and the primary caregiver for her grandmother. Ava has been caring for her grandmother for the majority of the past 8 years.
At the beginning, Ava lived almost 2 hours away (via subway) until 4 years ago when her grandmother started developing signs of dementia. At the time, her grandmother had mobility issues, heart disease, and was blind in one eye.
At first Ava was just there to help her go shopping, clean her apartment, prepare her medications with increasing responsibilities. She would travel there every day, often times bringing her young teen age daughter with her. City services could only send an aide 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, and they would not touch grandmother’s medication (3 pills and some vitamins).
Ava had researched other options, and started to organize her grandmother’s apartment of 58 years for a move. One evening it was apparent to Ava that her grandmother could not be left alone any longer. Ava had to take her grandmother home that evening carrying nothing but a few suitcases and a walker. Ava’s daughter and friends stayed with grandmother while Ava took the train back to pack the 2 bedroom apartment herself, and drag things home in a cart. She had a friend provide one ride, and had to hire a moving van to move some of her furniture that was important to grandmother. It took months without any other help.
Ava’s grandmother is living with her now and things are much more difficult for Ava now that her daughter has left for college. Her grandmother’s dementia is less severe most of the time, but her short term memory can be very repetitive. They’ve been to the hospital a few times, her grandmother has fallen twice, changed her pacemaker, and 3 bouts with colitis. This has gravely affected her grandmother’s mobility and incontinence. These elderly events has brought Ava’s caregiving role to a higher level. Ava cannot leave her grandmother alone at all due to her short term memory, risk of falling, and the risk of eating whatever she sees in the kitchen, has made being alone impossible.
In the past, Ava home schooled her daughter until she was in 7th grade and work part time in the home. When her daughter went to school, Ava continued to work at home and still tries to work as a internet consultant despite her 24/7 caregiving. You can often find her online late at night, in between her grandmothers bathroom visits every 2 hours.
Ava is the Founder of a County wide Recycling group, and a local community group in New York. Her Grandmother was a inspiration to her, as she was also very active in her community. And today, Ava doesn’t get much sleep!
Thank you, Ava, for being the caregiver you are today. Carebuzz hopes your story finds people in your community who can help, even if it is for a respite break.
Caregivers can apply the principals found in Steven Covey’s book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, to caring for aging relatives and empower your role of a family caregiver. Utilize these seven habits as a compass for caregiving stress.
1. Take a Proactive Approach. Caring for an elderly parent can be stressful if you fail to plan. By planning ahead and taking initiative, you can avoid the stress that comes with work/life responsibilities. Begin early with conversations with your mom and dad about how they want to live out their lives; home care or community care?
2. Begin with the End in Mind. Evaluate what’s important to your life, and if family is most important then devote the resources of time, energy and talent to that end. Help your aging parent plan for their future. Many seniors and elders alike, assume they will be able to care for themselves in the future even when they become frail.
3. Put First Things First. Work with your family on a daily and weekly basis in planning goals, appointments, and obligations. Organize all information as a means to focus and plan the goals. It would be great to have a planning session like this with mom and dad before they become elderly. This will help them ease their fear of being forced out of their home in their later years.
4. Think Win/Win. Instead of looking to caring for your kids and elderly parents as a source of stress, approach it with a positive mindset. Your positive attitude will rub off on family members, and in turn, they will feel loved and important. Establish everyone’s roles from the outset so as to make everyone feel a part of the caregiving situation.
5. Seek First to Understand and then be understood. Covey teaches the idea of mutual understanding between people, and this can certainly apply with Grandma and children. Be empathetic when they express their differences and concerns. If your child or parent is being ornery towards you, listen to what they are saying, and try and get to the root of the problem.
6. Synergize. Come up with creative ways to get all family members involved. Perhaps your teenager can play a board game with Grandma while Mom can make dinner. Or Grandpa can teach a youngster a history lesson that applies towards homework. Make use of everyone’s differences to benefit the family as a whole.
7. Sharpen the Saw. There’s much to be said for balance, and thus a family caregiver must take strides to take care of his or herself. Be sure to renew yourself in all facets of your life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and keep on giving.
When applying Covey’s teachings, the family caregiver will find the experience rewarding, creating a feedback loop that makes all family members feel good. Aging parents will feel appreciated and valued when they see that they too, are a part of the care-giving experience.
THE CAREGIVER CONTEST DRAWING IS TOMORROW, MARCH 31st!!!
You may have already entered the contest– in which case, please rest assured that once you have entered the contest, your name will be “in the hat” indefinitely: you are eligible to win the award each month, and you are automatically entered to win the Kindle. If you’d like to enter a new caregiver to be considered for the contest, please do so by following the instructions below!
Carebuzz knows that being a family caregiver is a thankless role! That’s why we’re celebrating caregivers on our site and providing you the opportunity to nominate someone in your community, family or yourself who exemplifies the definition of a ‘family caregiver’ and to win the honored Caregiver of the Month Award! Each month, we will select a caregiver to be featured on the Carebuzz site, and the winner will receive a special gift to honor the work they do. Each quarter, all names submitted will have a chance to win a free Kindle! That’s right, a Kindle! As we have learned from an AARP report on caregiving, there are over 65 million potential nominations out there in the United States. So, who do you think deserves to be honored?
How it works:
1. Submit a Nominee for the Family Caregiver of the Month Award by sending an email to carol @ carebuzz.com
2. In your email, use the subject line “Caregiver Contest Entry”
3. In 25 words or less tell us why this family caregiver deserves recognition and be sure to include the nominee’s name and email address
4. We will draw a name out of the “hat” to select the featured caregiver on the 1st of each month
5. Enter one time and we will keep your name in the “hat” for each monthly drawing, as well as the quarterly Kindle drawing!
